Water under the Bridge

Hi Guys,

Wow!

Almost a year since i updated my blog. The last time i was here, was when i was planning my wedding and thankfully that has been done and dusted.

So i am now married, AKA i am now called Mrs Alaka.  Another new development, i changed jobs. A lot can happen in less than a year right? So i have a new last name and i am slaving away at another desk and company.

My former colleagues were more than happy for me when i told them i was leaving. For me it was a bitter sweet feeling because i have this believe that jobs really at the end of the day are the same. I call it 'the same shit,different toilet' syndrome. Basically you are going to go through the same crap you went through at a different company ( Pressure, targets and all that..) the upside is, you might be making more money than before and probably be in a higher position. So that should reduce the sting a bit.



Marriage is a whole new kettle of fish. Women are always such in a rush to get that ring and are so fooled by the romance and the glamour of social media and wedding sites that you forget it goes beyond that day. When the food has been eaten, the liquor guzzled and the guests and family members have gone home. It will be just you and that man and depending on how the planning of the wedding went and all the drama that ensued from it, will dictate the tone of the journey that has begun. Nobody wants to start a marriage filled with resentment, alas that happens many times.

Also, that man that was willing to eat '' Indomie and Egg' three nights in a row has officially died. Sweet heart, shit just got REAL! This is now your '' Husband'' and no longer '' Boyfriend' and many men think this is a license to officially boss you around and show you who is the '' Baale ile'' i.e Head of the home.

However, marriage can be sweet. I love the fact that i have a man in my life that i can confide in. It's his duty to take care of me now and my responsibility to make our house a home. I am more than happy to leave the leadership role to him, believe me. My feminist views no reach that side. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. I am the neck and that is also a very important role in the home.

Did i also mention that i have a willing partner to ''DO'' and Undo when i feel like it and there is no Guilt involved? That should wear out though in a couple of years and when the kids arrive.

All in all, its been a great ride so far.

Till next time.

Live,love and Laugh 

The blushing bride to be

Hi Guys,

How have you been?

I will not apologize about my not updating in a while, its getting old. So ill just get on with it.

So as we all know, i am getting married in about 4 months and though preparations have started. Even though it has not really gotten any momentum yet, am already stressed. It's just not about the money, its the whole planning, the tension, the finding vendors and basically not killing your Fiance in the process.

Last week was dedicated to getting booking a make up artist and must i say it was dramatic. I did not know that the make up business was this lucrative at least for the MUA who know what they are doing. I swear am tempted to resign and go for a training at the house of Tara, learn the Art ( yes its an art) and once i have established myself starting charging from 100k upwards.



Am not joking these ladies are charging a whooping 100k for their work. Now, now before some people start knocking me, am not judging oooo, haba its their profession, it takes skill and dedication to learn it and if they want to charge 100k upwards, by all means they should. Those that can afford them, will patronize them. Unfortunately for me, i have very high taste and food wey sweat, na money cook am. If i want the Banke Meshida magic wand, then by all means, i have to pay for it. However, my taste does not match my pocket, so i have to be smart, if i can't get Banke, ill get her distant cousin, who is just as good but at a lesser cost.  That does not mean, she won't charge 100k one day for another bride but it just WON'T be me and i intend on getting married only once by God's grace.

In other news, its the holy month of Ramadan and we are on the 9th Day, Allahamdulilahi! May Allah make it easy for us. I am also done with my Master's degree, I just finished my 3rd semester exams, so i just have one semester left and my project and i am done! Whoop! Whoop!

That's been my life in a nutshell...oh i forgot that work just got a whole lot crazier and i have more responsibilities ( it's like a promotion but i am not excited). Anyway, i am trying to be more positive about life and keep the smile on.

Till next time...whenever that is.

Live, Love and Laugh

Monday Musings

Hi Guys,

How have you been? Its been eons right? I am not going to go on and on about why i have not updated my blog in a bit... Life happens and there is only so much a girl can handle.

As we all know, i am getting married this year and let me say that planning a wedding is not for the faint of heart. Especially, when your father is not Dangote and you don't even have a father and your mother is quite an emotional handful. Its been draining i tell you.

Even though the wedding has been scheduled for the last quarter of the year, i must say that it has started giving me sleepless nights. I really really want to do this my way and on a budget.

Getting a hall has been dramatic with everyone wanting their way and at the same time being cost conscious. Oga also wants his opinions to be heard and has his own 2 cents to be thrown in. Combined with mum and the in-laws, its enough to drive a girl crazy but i will survive.

So with everything i have going on; doing my masters, planning a wedding, working full time at a quite demanding job, trying to be a good and dutiful daughter, an attentive Fiancee', blogging and being a good friend has been quite low on my list. I try to keep in touch with my friends though via BBM ( at least am trying).





I know its going to be fine and everything will fall into place.

In other news, Floyd Mayweather made $179 million and change in one night. Let's keep that in mind while we go to work....for Other people.

Have a great week ahead

Live, Love and Laugh

The Myth of Work, Life Balance

Hi Guys,

Promises, Promises but i keep failing to keep them. So much, for my a blog post per week, pledge, but life has a way of just messing with your plans. We plan, God laughs.

Its been a crazy couple of weeks, at the office and in my personal life as well. It seems the pressure has been increased tenfold and everyone is on edge. Nothing causes strife and tension as much as money matters. Even though, i am not at Liberty to talk about stuff that happens in the office, professionalism and all that. I can say this though, it has not been fun. Infact, of late, i am questioning many things but all i can do is show up,dig in and do my job to the best of my ability even though it feels like its all for naught.  




Yesterday, a thought popped into my mind, while i having sunday evening blues ( By the way, that is some cause for alarm though). Is work, life balance a myth created by the Corporate world to keep people chained to their desk, for a major part of their lives? If we look at this objectively, when something is supposed to be balanced, is it not supposed to be 50 50? So from the get go, they lied to us. You spend 5 days a week at work and two days to rest, so duh! where is the balance? Should i mention over time and the fact that you are required to work weekends sometimes? So where is the balance i ask you? So when, i see HR professionals come and preach the work,life balance gospel to me, i just scoff and roll my eyes. In Nigeria, you are crucified for leaving your office at 5.30PM when that was what was written on your employment letter. According to some organisations, it does not show commitment. I could go on and on about how work,life balance at least in Private organisations. I think its a mirage and i would appreciate if they could just be honest and tell it as it is, not talk from both sides of the mouth.

Enough ranting about the Injustice dished to the Labour force in Nigeria. Its a very important week for the country as a whole. It's the countdown to the Elections ( Yipee!). You ask why i jubilate? I just want this elections, over and done with. I just want to move on with my life. Even though, the first quarter is always slow, this first quarter has been a total waste, business wise. Everything has gone to hell and it seems the economy just plummeted. Exchange rate has been more epileptic than power supply, and power supply has been non existent. In other news, electricity tariff was reduced by 50%.....hahahahahahah...They really insult our intelligence in this country. These elections should just come and go.

I finally had my introduction ceremony and i am so grateful to God, that it was a huge success. It even turned out better than i thought. I could not have done it without the financial and moral support of family and friends. The prayers worked and to think i was so stressed out, everybody who really cared and loved me, did their bit to make the day what it was. Alhamdulilahi! Pictures of the day, will come soon...You know i love to share.

Let's try and enjoy the week. Please stock up on food stuffs in preparation for the election, we don't know what may happen because some stupid young men, who have cotton wool instead of brains have been fighting. For the life of me, i cannot understand. These people you are fighting for, their children are abroad ooooo. For how much?  It is well....

Live,love and Laugh

Smiling when it hurts

Hi Guys,

It almost happened again.  The not blogging frequently. Its been carrrraaaaaazy. Work just gets crazier and crazier and i feel like am working on egg shells. I also launched a new pixie cut as well, Finally!

That's it Folks. 

Have a great weekend.

That kind of Tuesday

Hi Guys,

Its my second post. I am trying to keep my promise even though it seems harder today. This weekend went by faster than a bullet train. Sunday was cool because i managed to spend time with Oga and i went to bed on time. He loves to stay active and he loves to swim. In this weather, swimming seems quite necessary but for the life of me, i can't. He has tried to teach me, really he has but i guess, some people are not swimmers and i fall into that category. May we never have a Tsunami in Nigeria and may i never be lost at sea ( am black,so fat chance of that happening, we don't like  large bodies of water, if its not a pool, except for the riverine folk)

Monday came and everything went down hill from there. My mood just took a dive and i have not been able to pluck it back up and combine that with car trouble, then you get the picture. It's one of those days, when i feel utterly and totally overwhelmed with all the stuff i have to do.  My sister told me to take a deep breath and just calm down but its harder than it looks.

Anyway, i have been told not to dwell on negativity and keep my chin up and at the end of the day, it won't look and feel so bad. Oh! and INEC has moved election day 6 weeks forward....hehehehehehehe ( sorry to the guys, who were looking forward to that excuse)

Here are some pictures from Sunday

Enjoy the rest of the week.

Live love and Laugh

Am Back

Hi Guys,

This is my first post in almost a year and am i glad to be back. I really did not want to stop writing but when life happens, there is really so much you can do about it. I must say that since the last time i posted anything, things have been quite eventful and i am sooooo grateful to God. My life has been moving forward at a steady,slow but purposeful pace. Everything that has happened, happened at the right time, when God willed it to be so. There have been challenges, but God never gives you what you cannot handle.

The ironic thing is that a lot of people asked me why i stopped writing and trust me there was no particular reason than the fact, that i have been more busy and at the same time with more focus on where i am going  in life. What spurred this post, you might ask? A client of mine, Nic Van der Bergh,mentioned that he visited my blog and that i should start writing again. That's it! Nothing special, i just happened to be a bit less busy and i decided to go for it. I love writing, it's my thing, my therapy, my shrink, i can express myself with words and i love to share. I am a people's person, a communicator at heart and i have decided that NO MATTER, how crazy my life is and is going to be in 2015 ( i have made this promise before, i know) i will really make an effort to write more. Not because i can make money from it ( Bloggers are making money darn!) but because i just love to write and where else than my online diary/blog.

So what's been new in my life?

• I am half way through with my master's degree. Its been a challenge and interesting at the same time. Not only, have i pushed myself but i realize that i can actually, gasp! tackle calculations. Not your good old arithmetic, but full blown nightmare inspiring maths. I came across stuff like correlation, regression,weighted average and many of their terrible cousins. Not only did i come across them, i actually mastered some of them like my boo ' Exponential Smoothing'. Am i now a mathematician? Can horses fly? However, after sleepless nights, numerous pimples and shedding of tears, i wrote the exams. I don't expect an A but can they just let me pass and get my degree? 
• Am engaged!!! Let me say it again.... I oluwatobi Kafayat Rasaq is engaged to my boo, lover and best friend I can now call him my Fiance, not boo. His name is Mobolaji Alaka and am proud to mention his name finally! So many boo's have passed under the bridge. No more tales of dates from hell. We are not married yet, but by God grace, its happening. The proposal was sweet and romantic and was an Xmas proposal ( i suspected small sha) but was still pleasantly surprised because he managed to get my friends to witness the whole thing.My Family members knew waaaaaay before me, and he actually asked for my mum's permission.  So we are getting married this year, Insha Allah, we just need to pick a date, after the 'momi mo e' i.e Introduction of the families, which should come next month,God willing. 

So many other things, have happened but those are the two i think that are worth boring you with. This month  is also quite an interesting month for Nigeria. It's both Valentine and Election all rolled into one. Now that i think of it, i actually miss expressing myself on this platform about the election and what i think about the parties and candidates. Just a tip though.... I still am a little mixed about who to vote for but i know who i am NOT going to Vote for....President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. I did not vote for him the first time and am not going to start now. I am just done with the administration and i just want them to leave..Go bye bye. Enough is enough. 

Then these demons called ISIS? They are just vicious,rabid dogs and give my religion a bad name and i pray that every sane Muslim out there, stands up and renounces their ideology. Their latest atrocity leaves me astounded. I have never been able to bring myself to watch any of their videos. They are Barbaric and Ungodly and do not, i repeat, stand for what Islam is about. Everybody needs to stand up and put a stop to this. This includes, Boko Haram in Nigeria as well. The chibok girls are still no where to be found and i shudder to think about the fate of those young women and if they can ever be normal again, at least the ones that survive.  

*Taking a deep breath* I guess this is a good start as any to my writing. Ill keep the posts coming and i am actually excited about writing again. Here are some pics of moi, i think i have put on a little weight...

 

Have a great one Guys! 

Live,Love and Laugh always.

Manic Magic Monday

Hi Guys,

How have you all been? Its been quite a while. Told ya my life was going to become even crazier and there is nothing i can do about it. You all are just going to bear with me. So what has been happening so far:

• Classes have started officially and my life is officially over. 
• The world cup came and went and Germany are the new world champions. 
• Ramadan is here again and today is the 17th day and its more than half way through. 

No drama yet..... or rather drama so minor that i do not think i should dignify with a mention or bother you with. I and le boo are still going strong ( Its 1 year already) most of the relationships ( not like i have had many) i have had since 2010 never last beyond 3 months but we have stuck at it.  

I just wanted to drop a line with you guys and hopefully ill have some hot gist soon. Here are some pix of me so far since the last time i was here: 

 

Till next time Lovelies. 

Live love and Laugh

Thoughtful Thursday

Hi Guys,

How has it been? Happy new month!!! Its my first post for the month of June and i am so excited. I can officially say that the year is split in two and what a year it has been.

June promises to be a very eventful month for me. Its gonna get cray up in here because i officially start my classes for My masters Degree and its going to be very demanding based on the time table. Should i mention how much  i have had to bleed for an extra education? Who sent me message i ask you? As excited as i am to officially start this journey despite some discouragement from different parties and life just being life. I know its going to be a daunting task and i hope that i can pull through. Combining full time work with school is not for the faint of heart but i have done it before and i can do it again, with God by my side and a strong support system. I really admire women who do this while married with kids and working at the same time. I do not think i could cope, so that's why i want to get it out of the way. The truth is, age is not really on my side if i look at it. I want to get married soon, so if i don't do this now, i figure, when will I? I can't imagine doing this with two kids. Ill just break down.

Ill be fine though...

Toodles...

Live, Love and Laugh

So what next after the Birthday?

Hi Guys,

I am a very happy/Sad woman today! Why? Yesterday was my birthday and i am a year older.  Yes i am happy to be alive,healthy and there are many things i should be thankful for but there is still this small nagging voice in my head that says stuff like 'You are growing older meaning you are closer to the grave. Are you on track with your life? Have you achieved all your set goals for this particular age?'

As exciting as birthday's are with the well wishes and birthday greetings flooding in, i always start my birthday a bit down. It happens every year and as the day progresses i get better,more excited and am generally a happier person. My birthdays for me are always very bitter sweet and at one time in the day, i always cry, EVERY YEAR! What is wrong with me? This year i cried while observing my morning Salat and i cried when my mum prayed for me. The tears were a mixture of gratitude for where i am and where i am coming from and fear and trepidation for what this new year might bring.

Between my last birthday and this one, it has been quite eventful. Filled with laughs and tears and so much anxiety, so i guess that's why i am even more fearful. Some people, even though they had my best interests at heart and did not mean any harm, cranked up the fears. ' Your next birthday will be in your husband's house' We will come for your wedding soon' etc. Really? I guess this is supposed to be the next chapter in my life, marriage and kids. Do not get me wrong,just like every girl out there, i have constantly dreamed of my wedding day and i can't wait to leave my mum's house and make a home for myself. However the cynical side of me knows its not all rainbows and sunshine in a man's house. Shit gets real,real fast in marriage. No more doing as i like, going out, deciding if i want to cook or not etc In essence, you are no longer the boss of your life. When children enter the picture, it even gets more complicated. Well, i guess the most constant thing in life is change and i just have to accept it. By Gods grace, i will be a Wife and mother,one day soon and as women before me have done it, i will manage.

To lighter stuff, in the spirit of making me happy and enjoying my birthday week. I made sure i took some 'Pre Birthday selfies' and took some more for my birthday. Here they are...

Now to my birthday, it really turned out ok. I made cupcakes for myself because i always make a cake for myself ( Independent woman stuvs). I do not believe in waiting for a guy to celebrate me, i celebrate myself. However, lee boo still sent a cake to my office ( kisses) and to my surprise so did my office. Le Boo also had a custom made card for me. He also promised to give me my gift over the weekend.

Lee boo was upset that the my office cake and his was almost identical. It was from the same place ' Cakes and Cream', those guys really really need to step up their game. I told him it was the thought that counts and gave him tips on where next to get my cakes from. Boo isn't a cake guy...love him still.

Till next time folks

Live love and Laugh 

What are the streets saying?

Hi Fam,

How's it going? My blogging is just getting worse by the minute. So many things have been happening over this past couple of weeks. Ill just drop  summary of current events and my take on it.

• #bringbackour girls: As commendable as this 'movement' is and the fact that it has brought a lot of publicity to the plight of these poor girls that have been kidnapped by these demons in human form. Some part of me is getting a bit irritated by the fact that every Tom,Dick and Maria are jumping on the band wagon, not because they actually 'care' if these girls are found but because they just have to join in for cheap publicity and think its the new cool way to take a ' selfie'. The conspiracy theories are at it again! Some people actually think that ' Boko Haram' is a creation of the west and the US is using them to get into Nigeria and that Boko Haram is political.  Like 'DUH!' We all know that Boko Haram is political and there is no snowball's way in hell, its religious in my opinion. But the US Sponsoring them? Really? I know that the only thing the US cares about in the long run is the US. Is it  a coincidence that they are offering their help to an oil rich nation? Nope!  Nigeria is going to pay for this help in some way, that is for sure, but i don't think Boko Haram is funded by the  west.  

• #whatdidJayzsaytoSolange: In true Millennial shallowness this topic of discussion has threatened to topple even more important stuff like ' world peace' from the news. Solange turned her brother in law  into target practice for kicks and the world has never been the same again. It's unfortunate that the video had no audio, this would have solved this mystery nicely. This was a brief moment when the curtain was lifted and we saw ' behind the fame'. If you all are expecting that Beyonce or Jayz might release a statement, i seriously doubt it. These are people known for keeping their mouths shut about  personal ish and this has probably fueled the Illuminati rumors. Come to think of it. Why has no one alluded to Illuminati about this incident? I won't be surprised if they say that ' Solange was angry with Jayz because he initiated her sister into the cult and she was fighting with him to release her sister from bondage and the reason Beyonce could not talk was because she was under instructions not to and the reason people are saying Solange is crazy is because of the Illuminati and that is why she has not been as successful as Beyonce'. See movie script? Do i really want to know what happened? Hell yeah! Do i really care if they are engaging in threesomes behind closed doors? Not really.  

These are just two of the events that have captured my attention in recent times. As for me, what has been going on since last week: 

• I want to start registering for my Master Degree classes but am cash strapped. Adult education is not cheap and am praying for financial help from God through humans. 
• I journeyed to Ogun state to my school Olabisi Onabanjo University ( such a mouthful,OSU is just fine) to get my degree certificate 6 years after and to my utmost relief, i got it in record time but after i parted with money. My wallet or rather ATM Card is still recovering from the abuse. Has Ogun state woken up from under development? Nope! To my annoyance, construction that had been going when i graduated is still going on! 6 years after! Geez...
• The streets are saying i have put on weight and that is a welcome development. I have not really noticed any changes but i know my cheeks seem rosier.  

Can you tell the difference? I love this look. To me this is semi formal casual chic. 

Tank Top

Blazer

Blue Jeans

Statement Neck piece

Rings

Nude pumps

Wish i could dress like this everyday but i get bored easily and i like to switch it up. 

Till next time folks 

Live Love and Laugh

Crazy Monday

Hi Guys,

Its been almost a month since my last post and i must confess that it might not get better anytime soon.

Crazy is an understatement and its only going to get crazier and its out of my hands. I got admission into a Masters Program, i have been saddled with more responsibility at work and i am just holding on by my fingernails.

Will keep you posted on any new gist. Here are some pix of your girl ova the past couple of days.

New hair do.

Live love and Laugh.

Living & Working in a Pressure cooker

Hi Guys,

Have you ever felt like you are under tremendous pressure? Have you ever felt like you have been thrown into the deep end and there are only two options, sink or swim? Well, that's how i feel now and its not funny.

You all know that i just started working in  another company for about a couple of months,right? Even though its still advertising, its mobile advertising and i am a new business development and client relations executive. The client relations is a bit familiar because i worked as an account manager at my former employer's for a couple of months. However, the new business development part which is just a fancy way of saying 'SALES' or worse my nightmare ' MARKETER' is not funny at all! To make matter's worse my line manager has tendered his resignation, so am all alone. Its a small company, so the workforce is below 30 and the mobile advertising unit i work in, is even smaller. Basically we were just two on the sales team and now its down to one,ME! I almost collapsed when i heard the news because the pressure for two will be on my very fragile narrow shoulders and i am beyond terrified. I have been told its a huge opportunity to prove myself and a step to bigger and better things. I think its the shortest route to High Blood Pressure.

Now do NOT get me wrong. I love a challenge and i am just plain grateful to have a job but i am also a realist. I do not have more than 3 months sales experience in B to B. My selling accessories and cloths do not count and now i have to be the 'Lead' so to speak. The fact that your boss tells you that he does not see ' enough aggressiveness' in you does not help your confidence. Even though he makes it slightly better by saying' he thinks you will do well and you should NOT underestimate the depth of responsibilities that you will have to carry'. How does this help, i ask you? So i guess, Its swim baby or drown and join the job market.

On to more fun things, i attended an old friend's wedding last week Saturday,and i must say i clean up nice when i want to. I wore a royal blue chiffon Iro and Buba with yellow accessories ( they were the colours of the day).  I also followed the trend and tied the most popular ' Knot Wrapper' after practicing for about an hour and finally watching a YouTube video, i got it.  I have never been a fan of Iro and Buba because of my slim..no scratch that...skinny frame but i was pleasantly surprised. I did not look bad and i guess my height might have compensated for my bonny frame. Let my pictures do the talking...

Niceeee....Right? If you disagree, let me know

So its the weekend, doing the ' booty wriggle' with my non-existent bum and i am relieved.  Here's my look for today...

Happy Friday darlings.

Live,Love and Laugh..