Monday Musings: Meeting your Future Mother in Law

Hello Ladies and Gents,

How was the weekend? Mine was fantastic, i relaxed and i spent most of the weekend, resting, taking care of house hold chores and spending time with loved ones and family.



Over the weekend, i had a discussion with a friend and she confided in me that she is extremely nervous about meeting her boyfriend's mother AKA future mother-in-law. She and the guy have been dating for a couple of months and they were getting serious. The guy wants to take it to the next level and wants her to meet his mum. I told her that's a good thing and the guy is serious about her.I have tried to calm her anxiety but its not working. What if she doesn't like her? What if she does not give her blessing? etc. I must say i totally understand how she feels. I have experienced it and i know i will still experience it.




 However, i also know its something that cannot be avoided except you want to kill her and remember that you also have your own mother. I know that this is a fear that every young woman faces and i decided to do a blog post about it. I talked to my mum, friends who have gone through it etc . So here we go....

• Do your research and Learn about her. Talk to her son and find about her likes and things that interest her and find out what makes her tick. You never know, you guys might have similar interests. 
• Have an open mind. The myth of the wicked mother in law is known, far and wide. Sometimes due to preconceived notions, we meet our future mother in law's with our defenses up and guided. I am not saying some mother in laws are not difficult, come on, some of our own mother's can be difficult as well and we manage them and continue to love them. So lets try and be open minded. 
• Dress well and decently. I am not saying wear a caftan and hi jab, if you do not cover your hair on a good day but we all know that you are addressed the way you dress . If you make an effort to look professional when going to work,meetings and interviews. Then make an effort for the mother of the man you love. Less is more is my opinion. 
• Be polite. Now that is a no brainer. You do not need a seer or a pastor or anyone to tell you this. Being respectful is a prerequisite in polite society. If you are Yoruba for example and your man is from the same tribe, then you should know that kneeling down is how we greet as women, duh!
• SMILE. The best accessory you can have and its universal. Everyone understands a smile and it helps in breaking the ice.

If you have more tips, please feel free to send and lets discuss. 

Live Love and Laugh

My Lagos, the city i hate to love..

Hi Guys,

Is this weather crazy hot or not? This kind of weather in Lagos is not for the children of God. Its hot and dusty and just plain uncomfortable. But you know what? With all my complaining, i don't think i can live any where else in Nigeria. Lagos is in my blood, i love the craziness, the high tempo of living in this city. My state of origin is Lagos and i from Lagos island ( with ijebu blood from my mums side) and i am a proud ' Real Lagosian' not the ' I was born and lived here all my life so i am Lagosian even though my name is Nnamdi'. My love of Lagos does not mean that i do not understand the downsides of living in this crazy city.  To live in Lagos, you must have some ' street smarts' so you are not taken advantage of. You must know when to 'display' and you must know when to shut the hell up.

I call myself a cross between ' Aso' and ' Pako'. I have lived a relatively sheltered life but i still know the 'score'. I  do not speak street lingo but  i  do have an idea of some of the words they use. I also know that you do not show fear or total naivety because you will be taken advantage of.  I have various reasons why i hate to love 'Las Gidi' and ill love to share them with you:

• Danfo Drivers and their Conductors: They are known for their dare devil tendencies. Their total lack of fear and respect for human life and their caustic tongues. They are brilliant marketing strategists changing their destinations depending on demand but are terrible customer care representatives. They are rude,uncouth and lack human relations but i have the utmost respect for their knowledge of arithmetic.  

• Uniformed Officials: They are a dime a dozen and can be a thorn in the sides of drivers in Lagos both public and private. LASTMA,KAI,VIO,YELLOW FEVER,NURTW etc. No self respecting Lagosian can stand them.  

• Traffic: That's synonymous with this city. Nobody understands the reason or has a cure for it yet, just like cancer.  When Lagos traffic has you in her grip,sit back and relax and call for Gala and Lacasera.  

• Owambe: Lagos Owambe parties are one of a kind. I go to these parties for the food and souvenirs. The 'Aso ebi' fashion cannot be compared and that's for another post. 

• Night Life: Lagos has a thriving night life. Lagosians love to party and there are different scenes that cater for different needs,tastes and pockets. 

• Entertainment: Its hot and growing fast. Lagos is the entertainment capital of Nigeria and if not Africa. In movies and music, its ever changing and everybody wants to go into entertainment.  YO!

These are just a few of the reasons why i love this great sprawling metropolis of crazy,fun and hardworking people. I remember the day i came back from NYSC camp and the bus got to Berger, the first thing that brought a smile to my face was the sound of blaring horns and people cursing each other out. It was music to my ears that's when i realized that i truly loved this city.

I rep 'Las Gidi' for Life! 

Live love and Laugh

'THE FASHION BUDGET SERIES' POST THREE!!!

Hello People,

Its been a wonderful week so far. Why? I have been writing about two things that i am really interested in. Fashion and Finance. I looove to look good ( my mum thinks am the vainest person created) and i am also very money conscious ( my room mate in school, friends,boy friend and family members can attest to it). I am part Ijebu and that's the dominant part of me, i must confess. I am very frugal and i am NOT a shopaholic( i can be,but i refuse to). When i wanted to start this blog, i wanted to go the fashion blogger route but after going through various fashion blogs and seeing the daily fabulous fashion updates and the name brands they wear. I realized that i could not compete, period! I am totally confused on how these ladies can afford their ward robes? Do they save? How much do they spend on cloths monthly? Can i be an Ijebu Fashionista? I am not dissing them oooo, far from it. I have the utmost respect for them and a little envy i might add. If i had the resources to have as many cloths as they do, believe me i would. One of my dreams in life is to have a 'walk in' closet filled with shoes but till then i have to work with a budget. Which is why the idea of this fashion series popped into my head while chatting with my sister. Anyway, this is my third post on the fashion budget series and i intend to continue writing on affordable fashion, from time to time. I also want to say that i cannot be placed under the title 'FASHIONISTA' but i do love to look good.  So that gives me the right to write about fashion. Being a fashionista is too much work if you ask me, but if you are a young lady and love to look good but on a budget, then we are soul sisters.

This post is about some staple pieces that any woman MUST have in their closet, Fashionista or not. I am not a ' Trendy' person i believe in ' Timeless classy pieces' that will stand the test of time. Trends should be used to update a ward robe not build it. So lets go....

• The little Dress: This is a staple. It could be black or white or are as many colors as you can afford. However start with the black. Black is versatile,goes with everything and can be dressed up or down,depending on the occasion. Make sure it fits your body type and you feel fabulous when you wear it.  

• Blazer: I love blazers.They have saved me so many times when i have no idea what to wear. Especially the black one. Its also very versatile and can be worn both day and night, casual or formal,depending on what you wear it with.  

• White button down shirt: Have as many of this as possible. The Nigerian weather demands it especially if you are not mobile. White shirts can fade or get dirty or become cream in color ( lol) if you are a public transport veteran.  

• Black Trousers and Black pencil skirt: Must haves! I love the black pencil skirt. Ist a life saver, goes with everything and fits almost any shape. It gives me curves especially those that come in body con material. Black trousers go with anything as well. 

• Black Leather Bag, shoes ( heels and flats): Frugality aside, i believe you should invest in a good black leather bag ( do not go birkin) but  you have to buy one that will last a very long time. I have a brown leather bag that's older than i am, passed down to me from my mum. The shoes too, if you can. Flats are comfortable and heels give you sex appeal and go with everything. 

• Cardigan sweaters and Camisoles: You should get these in  black,tan and a bright color. They can be worn together or with dresses,blazers etc. They look very sophisticated.  

• Leather belt: Black and brown colors are essential and help to finish your look. 

• Leggings; Black ooooo! that's the must have to be worn with tunic tops and shirt dresses. 

• Jeans: Its preferable to get this in dark washes. It allows you to wear them in semi formal and casual attire. 

• A pair of sandals: Make sure they go with everything and are comfortable. Sandals can be worn with dresses ( maxis and knee length),leggings, shorts and even jeans. 

• Statement accessories: neck pieces, rings, bangles and earrings etc. They help in transforming attires from formal to casual. 

 

 

 Hope all these posts are very helpful. We 'frugalistas' need to stick together. Its been a blast this couple of days and i have enjoyed writing every post, hope you have enjoyed reading them. All these tips are a combination of common sense and research. Please post comments and send suggestions via my email account rasaqtobi@yahoo.com or  please follow me on my twitter handle @tobirasaq. For your gorgeous and AFFORDABLE accessories visit www.facebook.com/TheAccesoriesLounge.  

Cheers.

Live Love and Laugh..