this close to tears

Have you ever been so down that the slightest thing could move you to tears. that even a sentimental song on the radio can make you cry . well for the past 3 weeks i have been going through an emotional roller coaster. i have felt lust,anger,sadness,happiness,anxiety and jealousy that i wonder how a human being can experience such feeling in huge proportions and not explode.
i wont deny that i feel very lonely right now and totally clueless on what i want. I wont deny that i need a male presence in my life but i feel that when that male presence does come,am not emotionally ready for it and something good will pass me by. i cant deny that i have a lot of baggage and there's nothing worse than making someone carry your baggage for you. i just hope that this wretched stage passes soon and i can begin to smile from within not the one pasted on my face.