Monday, November 4, 2013

Monday Musings: Meeting your Future Mother in Law

Hello Ladies and Gents,

How was the weekend? Mine was fantastic, i relaxed and i spent most of the weekend, resting, taking care of house hold chores and spending time with loved ones and family.

Over the weekend, i had a discussion with a friend and she confided in me that she is extremely nervous about meeting her boyfriend's mother AKA future mother-in-law. She and the guy have been dating for a couple of months and they were getting serious. The guy wants to take it to the next level and wants her to meet his mum. I told her that's a good thing and the guy is serious about her.I have tried to calm her anxiety but its not working. What if she doesn't like her? What if she does not give her blessing? etc. I must say i totally understand how she feels. I have experienced it and i know i will still experience it.

 However, i also know its something that cannot be avoided except you want to kill her and remember that you also have your own mother. I know that this is a fear that every young woman faces and i decided to do a blog post about it. I talked to my mum, friends who have gone through it etc . So here we go....

  • Do your research and Learn about her. Talk to her son and find about her likes and things that interest her and find out what makes her tick. You never know, you guys might have similar interests. 
  • Have an open mind. The myth of the wicked mother in law is known, far and wide. Sometimes due to preconceived notions, we meet our future mother in law's with our defenses up and guided. I am not saying some mother in laws are not difficult, come on, some of our own mother's can be difficult as well and we manage them and continue to love them. So lets try and be open minded. 
  • Dress well and decently. I am not saying wear a caftan and hi jab, if you do not cover your hair on a good day but we all know that you are addressed the way you dress . If you make an effort to look professional when going to work,meetings and interviews. Then make an effort for the mother of the man you love. Less is more is my opinion. 
  • Be polite. Now that is a no brainer. You do not need a seer or a pastor or anyone to tell you this. Being respectful is a prerequisite in polite society. If you are Yoruba for example and your man is from the same tribe, then you should know that kneeling down is how we greet as women, duh!
  • SMILE. The best accessory you can have and its universal. Everyone understands a smile and it helps in breaking the ice.
If you have more tips, please feel free to send and lets discuss. 

Live Love and Laugh

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