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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A woman under construction...

Hi Ladies & Gents!

Hows life treating my people? My weekend was one of the most uneventful i have had in a while. I did absolutely nothing and spent the weekend just resting and eating. The heat was incrediiiiiiiiiiiible and i am convinced that something is wrong somewhere. This heat is really really bad. The unfortunate thing about living in a society such as ours  is that heat is no excuse for you to go about scantily clad especially when you are not mobile. My mum strict as she is, does not really have a problem with me wearing shorts and tank tops when am going out but i know better. Ill get propositioned by people i do not want to be propositioned by ( call it pride i don't care) but being hit on by a bus driver or loitering area boys is NOT encouraging.

Anyway over the weekend i managed to have an argument with a dear friend of mine. Looking back at the conversation i realized i must have over stepped my boundaries in my ' stating it like it is' personality. She told me in no uncertain terms that i can be a bit judgmental and this will affect people or friends confiding in me ( I know she was referring to herself). I also have noticed that both of us have become a bit distant with each other which i have attributed to our busy schedules. I have always known that its not everything my friends tell me and frankly i have never been bothered about it.  I am not a friend that pries, if you want to share, am here and if not,all is well. Women no matter how close we are, always hold something back. The heart of a woman is like the deep blue sea. A woman is quite capable of taking a secret to her grave( contrary to popular opinion that we talk a lot) and women are better liars than men. We might not lie as often as men, but we lie better.

However what hurt me the most was the word ' Judgmental". I have been described as prudish,stiff,cautious and a worry wart and those words have never gotten to me as much as that word. It made me take a second look at myself. It made me look back at those days when i felt i was advising or offering opinions to people, was i being judgmental? It was a sobering thought.  I have always taken pride on my outlook towards life and the fact that i try to have an opinion about any topic thrown at me. Does that come across as being too opinionated? I went on and on, thinking about everything and even shared my thoughts with a friend that told me that even though i hold myself to high exacting standards, i should not do the same to others. That i should keep my opinions to myself and when asked i should try to water it down because people might not like what i have to say. All these years i had thought i was being honest while friends had thought i was being judgmental. What a wake up call. My mum is right! I am too blunt...

After beating myself up over the whole incident because i am my own worst crtic,i came to the following conclusion: There was a reason God gave us two ears and one mouth. Which means i should listen more and talk less and basically try to be more tactful and sensitive about how i express my opinion. If my friend asks' Do i look fat in this dress?' and i know she looks like a beached whale. I should say ' No hon, you do not look fat but lets look at other options.  I really hope i can do this  and be a better friend because at the end of the day i am still under construction and i am bound to make mistakes.


Here is wishing you all fabulous days ahead for the rest of the week...

Live Love & Laugh always...

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