the sting of rejection

hi guys!

its the weekend again and i must say that i expect it with great relief. this week has been draining and i cannot wait to rest and take care of my health because i have been a bit under the weather.

anyway my pet peeve today is rejection. who hasn't felt the sting of being rejected? it could be at work,at home or in a romantic sense. if there is a PhD for being rejected, i think i would have it. am not complaining because i believe rejection sometimes is good for the ego and makes you humble. i was rejected recently by someone and i must say that at very moment it hurt like the very devil. first of i was not really into him and all but because i had decided to be a bit more open minded in my dealings with men,i decided to stay friends( which is very unlike me.when i cut lose i cut lose). anyway i got rejected by the son of a gun when i tried to take the friendship to another level.

i have wondered many times what my reaction should be. should i coil up in a ball and cry or should i ' man up and say on to the next one. my ego and pride has been badly bruised but what can a girl do. i have decided to be strong about the situation and smile. i know that i am a 'catch' for any guy and frankly its his loss. so whenever you get rejected by a person or a company or anything just smile and know that sooner than you think your letter of acceptance is on the way.

down with the flu

hi guys,

its been another roller coaster couple of days and the weekend hurtled past,so that does not count. anyway i have heard the word exam fever and am curious about what it means.

is it when you cant sleep and you mind is constantly on the chapters in your textbook that you have not covered. is it when you heart constantly skips a beat when you realise the exam day is closer? In that case i guess am down with the exam flu.

i have professional exams coming up and i must admit that am worried sick not only because it will finally buttress the thoughts of me being not as smart as everybody thinks i am,if i fail or the thousands of naira i have poured into the course that i could have bought a small car to take me about with. its like i feel my communications career is tied to the whole thing and it will determine if i will move forward or backward. i know that career advancement is not only about my paper qualification but about what you know, but i feel it will help me in the right direction.

anyway am keeping both my fingers and toes crossed and i guess i have to do my path....which is study.

finding yourself

ho la peeps!

hows the day going y'all? My day started kind of slow,woke up a bit late so i had to hustle from the house,so i was not late for work. Today i can say will be just ordinary,so lets see how it goes.

the topic on my mind is finding yourself. this term is very subjective, it could be about finding what makes you happy or what you love to do or finding out what you hate. it all depends on what your searching for in your inner self. My search has always been to find what makes me happy and what i would love to do career wise with my life. a lot of people that know me have always perceived me to be the highly intelligent,driven career girl that wants to reach the pinnacle of success. what they fail to realise that there is a constant battle with the other side of me that wants the husband and kids and the happily ever after.am not saying i could get married tomorrow(i don't think am ready emotionally and mentally) but i DEFINITELY want that. the fear i have is can i have both worlds; can i be a career woman and at the same time be a loving mother and wife. this issue is very important and close to my heart because when i read in the papers of married women that have kids and have careers,it brings a smile to my face. alas! they are just  a few.

combined with this raging argument in my mind and heart is the fact that i have not found what it is i want to do with my life......yet. i think i have a very good idea but at the same time am not sure. i grew up wanting to be in the spotlight.which one? that's the million dollar question. there are soooo many things i want to achieve. i want to travel to exotic places and meet different personalities. i want to write and speak for the women of my generation, i love to look good and talk to interesting people and get to know them. at the same time i love to read and have i also want to have a regular life. it seems am a scattered person but all these thoughts run riot through my brain and am afraid that i might go through life without finding out WHAT IT IS exactly am SUPPOSED to be doing because i love to do so many things.

I know am not the only individual out there who is young or old that is going through this dilemma. the only advice i can give is keep thinking and dreaming and one day we might need to take that step of the cliff...there is a risk that we might crash and burn but there is also the possibility that we might soar and never look back. its a terrifying thought but i guess that whats being an adult is all about.

who cares what you think?

hi guys!
its mid week already and that means the week is slowly but surely coming to an end, and then the weekend is here! ( even though its just for two days). well i have a new pet peeve and its called ' caring about what people think'.

lets face it! we all care about other people's opinion,its just that some people care more than others. I used to hide under the facade of not caring about what people think, i lied. i think i care about it too much, in fact behind my 'go screw yourself' face, am mentally and emotionally affected about people's perception about me. I just generally want to be liked and respected not by everybody ( that's simply silly) but by the majority at least.

the painful thing is that even if you are the nicest being on earth and constantly try to please, shit(pardon the language) still gets said about you. this happens everywhere,work, the church and the family who should actually be your genetic fan club.the most shocking thing is that the bearers of the highly unflattering remarks about your person could be your bosom buddy or family member. i have been known to lose my appetite when  i hear what people say about me or actually burst into tears( i have the misfortune of having a leaking tear duct that gets stimulated frequently,simply put i cry A LOT) and sometimes am actually more bothered and crying because of the fact that am bothered,because most of the time its tears of anger at myself.

lately,events have simply shown me that i REALLY should not care about what people think because even IF they care about what i think,they still go ahead and do what they wanna do( a girlfriend of mine actually did it recently and even though she doesn't know that i know, we are cheerfully fooling each other).

so my new mantra in life( or rather one of them) is to TRY to care less about what people think as long as my actions don't hurt anyone and go ahead and live my life, be nice to people who deserve it and at the same time try to plug my leaking tear ducts and keep my emotions to myself. its going to be hard but i know i can and i advice anyone that has the problems i have should try to do the same.

the green eyed monster in me

hi guys!

hope the weekend went well? mine was mediocre with nothing too good or too bad. I made my hair on Friday night and got home pretty late after falling on my bum because the new hairstyle was obscuring my vision and i was bone tired. i left for school the next morning  to write my mock exam and got properly flogged because my brain went black and for the life of me i could not remember a thing( i rewarded myself with pounded yam and vegetable) for my abysmal efforts. then i had to play nurse maid to my mum who sadly was under the weather.soooo my weekend went well( i have to be positive).

The topic for today is envy. i know morally and religiously that being envious and wanting  your neighbors assets is a cardinal sin but who can tell me honestly that they have never felt a tinge of envy for someone.  I have and it happened to me recently. A friend of mine informed me about her getting a new job in an establishment that i would love to work in. At first i was elated, then the monster crept in. I now looked back at the years i had known this friend of mine and how EVERYTHING she wants she gets and how her life had been rolling along according to some divine blue print or plan. I had to mentally and physically stop my thoughts by pinching myself and asking God for forgiveness but in that moment of weakness i did not CARE. So here comes my question. How much envy is healthy? When does envy turn to outright jealousy and then plain bitterness? Can you channel envy into something positive? Can envy make you work harder or push you to do evil? These questions i do not have the answers to but i can tell you that feeling envious is not something you should be ashamed of, its how you control  it and your actions after that is is important. AS for my friend. Do i envy her? Yes! However am i happy for her? Most definitely! Do i wish i had her job? heck yeah! Would i pray she losses it. No. but will i will be inspired to put my back into it.Without a doubt.

Dressing the Part

Hi guys!

its been a very loooooooong needed weekend. I had an absolute blast! It was the Sallah  celebration for the Muslims world wide and give it to the Muslims(at least my family and the ones i know) we know how to throw a a party. My weekend was filled with non stop activities(shopping,cooking,family and i got to be a runway model even though its not as glamorous as it sounds). It seems like as usual the four day weekend raced past and here i am chained to my desk again.

Now to the business of the day, dressing for work. I must admit that i am a staunch supporter of professional dressing in the office. I believe that if you are coming to work in a corporate environment you should dress the part. I work in an advertising agency and i must admit that i get to see the good,bad and downright bizarre dressing from my colleagues especially those in the creative department,from corn rows to dread locks,singlets won on cargo pants,you name it we got it(at least nobody is crazy enough to come to work in their under wear yet and am sure as lenient as the management is,that person would probably be sanctioned)

Another aspect am interested in is,does the dressing extend to the hairstyle especially for the females. A recent saga in my office involved a female colleague having to go home and remove the weave she had on because it was too loud and unprofessional. i must admit that i was  bit taken aback when i saw the said hair but at the same time i thought 'we work in an ad agency famous for their casual dressing,is this not the perfect place to express your creativity. Now,I am also at the other end of the hammer with the gown i wore to work today being commented on. I was told i looked good by some,sexy by some and one female colleague out of i don't know what went through her head,said this is the first gown i have ever won that fit me to a T(that is a back handed compliment if i ever saw one because i recall being complemented about many other gowns i have won before,women sha!)Anyway a senior colleague called me aside to tell me politely and cheekily that the gown should not be won again( wonder why?) is it the hemline or the shocking fuchsia pink colour or the fact that the gown brings out my curves in the right places that i never knew i had..

anyway for the sake of the sanity of the male folks ill wear a blazer on the gown next time.

the trouble with women

hello peeps!

its been crazy this past few weeks and i have been under a lot of stress.anyway my new pet peeve  are girlfriends! and no i don't swing both ways but having female friends can be a drag. apart from the threat of being hit on by guys i think its relatively easier to be friends with guys,at least for me.

i have always been the victim of vicious fights with girls that i thought  could be called friends. i have been the topic of gossip and backbiting and frankly i have wanted to enter a cat fight with a couple of them. why is IT so difficult to get along with girls? after all i am a girl and i should understand them,but frankly i don't. i cant stand the envy or jealousy,the misunderstanding of words,the emotional outbursts and the hormone ranges.

in the past two months i have entered into arguments with two female colleagues, a serious fight with a neighbour and another argument with a close friend and they are all female. am not saying that i do not ever want to have female friends,i have some that are more like sisters. in fact i have a friend that i have known for over 15 years and we are still going strong( we have our arguments though). i cant discuss man problems with a man or make fun of a man with a guy friend, or go shopping or just be plain silly.but seriously sisters,we need to just chill and relax and sheath our claws and trust me we will live a whole lot longer.